How To Beat Your Wife - By Charly Boy | Welcome to Linda Ikeji's Blog

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Thursday 26 March 2015

How To Beat Your Wife - By Charly Boy

Article written by Charles Oputa. Read below..
When I look back at my life, and all the stuff I did as a carefree, young and restless youth,  I can't help but shudder at some of my very bad habits. Yes, I was once short-fused; blowing off at the slightest provocation. It was pitiful. Over time I have managed to rid myself of such sad habits but that can't be said for a lot of men some of who, even late in their lives can't still get over it, thereby losing their cool in their homes. No be small thing sha.

Domestic violence is an under reported crime in Nigeria, almost accepted as norm. Some  men feel it's their right, some feel it's always the women who bring out the beast in them, while others will readily admit its a way of stamping their authority in the home. Sadly, many don't see anything wrong with beating their wives. How sad! Yes, am aware there are women who beat up their husbands, but those are in the minority and this piece ain't about them. The most guilty perpetrators are usually men and the victims are mostly their wives and sometimes their children too.

Men abusing women is like a defence and coping mechanism for being or feeling WEAK in other aspects of life, sometimes including deep analog beliefs about masculinity. Men who abuse loved ones tend to blame other things or people for their violent outbursts. In some cases, it is a cycle: "my father abused me and my mom, so, it's  normal".
Society doesn't help either, it ingrains in a man's psyche that macho bullshit; how he should be strong and if he can't exhibit that in his daily public life, it's ok for him to go home and prove his strength. 


Abusive men are not limited to a particular status, it ranges from a bricklayer to a CEO or even a President, causing their women to perpetually live in anxiety and fear. Most of them tip-toe around their husbands, not because they respect these men, but because of fear.

A violent man might have grown up in a dysfunctional household but this is still not a reason to be abusive. It is an excuse, and a flimsy one at that.
Some men don't come from humble homes where women are appreciated. Some of us come from homes that expose us to sex, gossip, male macho bullshit. Values for treating women start with where you're coming from, your background. However, beyond these, what fucks most men up is our BIG FAT EGO. It has everything to do with selfishness or overrated feeling of self-importance. QED.
Ego is the source of many negatives in the world. It is the false 'self' that Jesus said we should let die before we can gain everlasting life. Ego craves to be first, but we must be willing to be last. Unconditional love comes with humility, selflessness, abundant generosity, perfect responsibility, fearless confidence.

I no go brag, am not all that, but I dey try. God knows!

Now, for the man who feels trapped in this mad dance with his loved ones and is trying very hard to rid himself of this very terrible habit, do like me. If you start to feel that your fuse is about to burst, try and say nothing, hold it in for a few minutes and relocate yourself to another space, either in your house, or outside. Allow some time to elapse before you express yourself, never talk or let your fist run amok when you're upset; it doesn't make for a good picture.
Even though I have cured myself of my short fuse, i still get tempted from time to time. What works best for me now is silence. I go and lock myself in my room and will never utter a word to my lady until am sure am in control of my faculties. Since many moons ago, I have discovered that this is a very effective option in dealing with a very bad temper.

So next time you are with your woman and you feel like turning her into a punching bag, change the game, beat her with your silence for the period you feel like blowing your fuse. Na my way be that oooooo.
This is just my take sha, how you see the matter my guys?

78 comments:

Anonymous said...

»madness is when you spend 6yrs in d university reading day and night to get certificate at d end vote a mallam without a certificate.

Anonymous said...

»madness is when you spend 6yrs in d university reading day and night to get certificate at d end vote a mallam without a certificate.

Anonymous said...

»madness is when you spend 6yrs in d university reading day and night to get certificate at d end vote a mallam without a certificate.

TAMARA SPLASH said...

Someone should pls summarize. Break it down4me

Abeni said...

Tell them all

TOMJERRYSWIT said...

GRNDPA HAV SPOKEN...TOMJERRYsWIT

Unknown said...

Oga weldone u don try rest na

RealAutoTips said...

share everything with wife is more beautiful, noting to beat

Alloy Chikezie said...

Exactly when angry, the best thing to do is keep quite and just be alone with Your taught for some time, it works for also. Nice article

Your comment will be visible after approval

Unknown said...

Or u simply beat her with your sugar cane.. Charly on point👍... So he wasn't 100% gay afterall😜

Hawt Talk With Tosan said...

Great write up on such a poignant issue. A REAL man does not hit a woman.

Stop by my blog http://hawttalkwithtosan.blogspot.ca/

Unknown said...

Good write up, wish my Dad could read this and learn.

Unknown said...

Correct! Best advise

Karlsson said...

That's just the honest truth. I don't see any reason Y a man should turn a woman into punching bag. Women should bridle their tongue too.
Ubanagum

IGBDev said...

My Pastor once preached about How to control Anger.Men,Learn how to control your Hot temper and save yourself a lot of problem.

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Anonymous said...

Very insightful

Unknown said...

Okay. I've heard you granny.

Unknown said...

Very well said

Unknown said...

Bros Charles I dey feel you so much. Well done o! Linda take note!

Unknown said...

Bros Charles I dey feel you so much. Well done o! Linda take note!

Unknown said...

Bros Charles I dey feel you so much. Well done o! Linda take note!

Unknown said...

Bros Charles I dey feel you so much. Well done o! Linda take note!

Anonymous said...

Good piece but some block heads on this blog won't get it. An angry man that does not know how to handle is emotions is a foolish man.

Unknown said...

the guy to me is a comic xter

Tosin Adams said...

Ogbuagu nga ikwuru bu kpoi!! Ino on point ka fullstop.

Anonymous said...

VERULE Says-headlines

Anonymous said...

Dumb ass fool, posting one comment a million times on a topic dat isn't even political, u r d problem with d world.

mibahcom said...

Nice family, always share anything with mother, thats your wife.

ameejay said...

Smh..... u don't no whr u'll find urself tmr. U don't have to discriminate people just coz u don't like them,and imagine, u spent how many years in school and still thinking this way...choi

Davido's driver said...

Your father left lap. Lindaobserve

Unknown said...

Toad! Comment on the issue at hand.

Vivian laura said...

Nice one charly.

knowurway.com said...

@ tamara sp, I can see u re a moron, is how to do prostitute from lagos to warri and to PH etc. U know fool wait for me to summarize it for u. mtcheew!!!!!!!!!

knowurway.com said...

@ tamara sp, I can see u re a moron, is how to do prostitute from lagos to warri and to PH etc. U know fool waits for me to summarize it for u. mtcheew!!!!!!!!!

Juleslouis said...

Truth! Most women can't stand that silence when they r angry.

Unknown said...

Well said Mr cha.
U too mak sense

Unknown said...

Well said Mr cha.
U too mak sense

Unknown said...

dis is hw i burnt my anger isuses.......but jst close ur mouth wen am quiet sha, or else........

prettiyz said...

Nice one, I am more than impressed. Real men will learn from this while the adamant ones won't

Anonymous said...

Please can someone help us show this write up to Chibike Amechi of Rivers State. Thank you in advance.

Anonymous said...

Pls leave the revered soul of justice oputa to rest in peace, this cheap -homosexual- infested relevant seeking old fool should stop this

Anonymous said...

Leave highly revered justice Oputa soul to be,old- pagan- homosexual relevance seeking goat called charley boy

Unknown said...

Brilliant write up. Thanks for the piece of advice. Just to let you know that your style works.

Anonymous said...

No,madness is when you can't spell after 6 yrs in college. Can you do survive the military training this man did, or can go to war to save your country? You bloody PDP paid troll. Madness is when after all you college education you don't know how to respect your elder! Fucking MORON!

Anonymous said...

Only a weak man hits a woman , Gbam!

NaijaDeltaBabe said...

Sharrap....he has a certificate

Anonymous said...

TRUTH!Insighful piece

Unknown said...

GRAND DAD HAS SPOKEN.

Anonymous said...

Charly boy, u av spoken well, I try to control my anger, but sometimes it fails. I just hit my girlfriend somedays ago out of her acts of infidelity. Shortly after I felt like a monster even hating myself the more. You (Charly boy) have written a good piece, and reading it would sure help likes of me get better. Thank you. ~ Ola-H.

vanessa said...

Lmao

Victoria said...

No, dear. Foolishness is when you don't know what it takes to rise through the ranks in public service such as the military . Madness is when you possess a PHD and do not understand what it takes to lead a developing country endowed with diverse human and natural resources ...

Unknown said...

good piece, i love this part more "Values for treating women start with where you're coming from, your background"

Unknown said...

@Anon 5:43, Oh! U r blessed beyond measure, and u wil never b cut short b4 ur time IJN 4dis lovely comment.

Unknown said...

This is d best comment ever on LIB. Forget it, Nigerian's r no fools, and mark my words God is going to disappoint GMB big time. A loser is alwaz a loser.

Endydecency said...

Charly Boy not matter how bad people think you are, you always make sense more than Buhari and Lai Muhammed combine. You're really on point.

Anonymous said...

Charly Boy has officially moved himself into the area of being a cultural critic.

Shekeleke said...

LOL..............CHARLIE BOY THE EVER LONG OLD PAPA.......FOR NOW WE THEY FOR ELECTION NOW SO TAKE YOUR TIME BEFORE THEY KILL THEIR WIFE.....PST.CHEKELEKE

Anonymous said...

WHAT DO I DO IF A WOMAN HITS ME FIRST,SPITS ON ME AND EVEN WHEN I TRIED TO WORK AWAY,HOLDS ME BACK BY THE COLLAR OF MY SHIRT?
KEEP QUIET AND DO NOTHING?IT IS EASIER SAID THAN DONE.
ANDY

Anonymous said...

seen

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Subomi said...

well written, did not read all but picked on some points, I guess guys with short temper can learn, I cant stand woman beaters, don't make you a man, makes you a sisi, most men that beat women, when they see real fight with a man like them they run... bunch of cowards, taking out frustration on women, yes a woman can push your button but there is a thousand actions that can follow that instead of slap or punch or kick.

Unknown said...

Anon. 7:11 are u ok? Pls take it easy.

TAMARA SPLASH said...

Thanks darlyn. Thank God u hv a mother n sisters. Muah

Anonymous said...

If any man incl my husband ever lays his hands on me - he will be burnt alive! What nonsense...

Unknown said...

Wow!!!! Another Moron!!!!

pixy said...

@ irabor...ur such a fool, if ur not interested in helping her, simply move on!!! U call her a prostitute? Wat 4?
For all I know she is more capable dan u!

Girl said...

On point Victoria!!! Well said!

Anonymous said...

U be fool lib sef don keran meyan meaning animal in human kingdom. This write up makes a whole lot of sense. Charlie on point.

Anonymous said...

Sugar cane?...lol.is that what it's called now?

Anonymous said...

R u ok?

Teacher said...

It's not easy but so WORTH it when we exercise self control , you feel stronger afterwards and always better than the bad alternative that can easily degenerate or lead to wetin person no plan o!

Opemipo hga said...

Certification does not translate to good governance . Please, Let's be logical in our arguments.

Anonymous said...

Owk owk owk

Anonymous said...

Na true talk be that.

Anonymous said...

Well said sir...

Unknown said...

Baba you confirm. Well said... Kick against domestic violence.

Anonymous said...

Bia Linda ebezi ka ino?? being refreshing like forever nothing new. Ekwe kwa na ka iwe wee mu oo hian.

Anonymous said...

Can't be better said than this. Thanks Charlyboy for sharing. If a maverick like you is still able to control yourself when angry, then what are we talking about? You do well boh

Anonymous said...

wow! wonderful piece! nice 1, am impressed. men read and learn. QP.

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